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The Lilith Blog
September 17, 2007 by admin
Rabbis Are People, Too, Even the Abusive Ones
In his pre-Rosh Hashana Editor’s Note, Baltimore Jewish Times editor Neil Rubin reflected on what he learned in the wake of breaking the story about rampant sexual abuse in the Baltimore community. In particular, Rubin and his paper were criticized for printing the name of one alleged serial offender, the revered, deceased Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro, and accusing him of molesting dozens of boys over the course of a couple decades.
The story rocked Baltimore and the entire Jewish community, but it didn’t start there and it doesn’t end there. Numerous other cases of serial sexual abuse by rabbis have emerged in the last few years. Many of these incidents involve the molestation of children, but several—two in particular that have been in the news lately—involve the alleged abuse of adult women by rabbis who, the women claim, used their status as rabbis-to-be-trusted to manipulate them into having a sexual relationship.
The shock and devastation that always comes when one hears about people one trusts doing horrific things is compounded by the fact that these offenders carry the title rabbi. Because by virtue of having this title, these men would seem to have the Jewish establishment’s stamp of spiritual approval, as it were, and in their showing themselves to be wholly unfit—spiritually and morally—that stamp would seem to have been the invalidated. It is enough to call one’s faith in Judaism into question, and no doubt has done so for many of those who have been personally abused. But if there is a bright side to these scandals coming to light, it is that they remind us of the true nature of rabbis – that they are people, too, just like the rest of us.
In this day and age, bearing the title “rabbi” simply means one has acquired a certain body of knowledge, not that he or she is inherently any more spiritual, purer, or closer to God than someone who doesn’t bear that title.
Sure, it’s not just a degree, the way a medical doctor is not just the holder of an M.D. Just as we hold our doctors to a certain standard of decorum, we expect that rabbis should conform to a certain moral code. But by Jewish law, we are all subject to that same moral code. And we all have the potential to acquire the same knowledge, and rise to the same spiritual level that we expect from a “rabbi.” In fact, Jewish rituals do not require rabbis, just educated Jews. Rabbis are not necessary to our spiritual endeavors as Jews; they are supplementary.
I’m not saying we should not respect our rabbis or that we should not trust them. Rather, we should remember that they, like the rest of us, are fallible human beings, that they, too, can succumb to the corruptions of power—and of the flesh, and that respectfully questioning authority—whether it be of rabbis, doctors, professors, parents, etc.—is a healthy thing to do.
For more information about rabbi abuse and what you can do about it, check out the Awarewess Center, www.theawarenesscenter.org
–Rebecca Honig Friedman
- 7 Comments
September 17, 2007 by Mel Weiss
Just Not Getting It
It’s politics slightly closer to home this week—politics of the Jewish community. Specifically, the return to chauvinism. You might think I’m taking about the now-(in)famous Maxim/Israel spread, but no—we’re on to the next insulting incident for women. It seems the JNF—yep, the people who plant trees in Israel and gave you those little blue tzedakah boxes at Hebrew School—have decided to have a fund-raiser in which you can bid to win a trip to the Playboy mansion. Fun for the whole family!
I don’t know what makes the head honchos (and honchas) of the JNF think that this is remotely legitimate. I mean, I really don’t know. Is there some deep-seated Zionist connection with Playboy? Some hidden Herzlian tract on how exploiting women’s physical attributes helps build the homeland? Can somebody fill me in?
I think I’m doubly offended, as a commentator on Jewschool put it, because this crap wasn’t even perpetrated by the likes of Heeb Magazine, the smirking post-irony frat boys of modern Jewish intelligentsia. At least when they offend me, I get the feeling that they’re doing it on purpose. I may not like that, but it has its place, I suppose. The controversy around the JNF kerfuffle, however, seems to mildly surprise its leaders:
“If people don’t want to bid on it, they won’t,” said Anita Jacobs, the director of the JNF’s Greater New York branch, which is organizing the auction. “This is America.”
Asked if she thought Playboy objectifies women, Jacobs replied: “No, not at all.”
But in an era when the divide between the heads of the Jewish institutional world and the rest of us becomes larger and more painfully difficult to bridge, every effort at communication across the divide holds ever more tenuous possibilities for real communication or a whole lot of disillusionment. It works in both directions, I know—but what a throwaway moment. Because young men aren’t going to travel to Israel because they saw a spread in Maxim. They’re not going to be more dedicated to eretz yisrael because they won a subscription to Playboy. (Similarly, nobody should vote for Hilary Clinton based on her cleavage.) And the rest of us out here—feminists of all genders, as well as those who merely have sound taste—are running, screaming, for the hills. Looks like Israel’s getting one less tree this year.
Have something to say? Drop JNF a line, or leave a comment below. In fact, do both.
–Mel Weiss
UPDATE:
According to the fine folks at Jewschool, the outraged voices of a lot of folks have turned the tide of misogyny. Huzzah!
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September 12, 2007 by admin
Date Honey
Last week, I got a call from my boyfriend’s mother as I was walking to my local co-op. “Yosh’s dad and I went to a shiur yesterday.” she told me. “It was about honey and how the honey referred to in “the land of milk and honey,” was actually made of dates, and not from bees. I thought about you the whole time.”
I was touched that she thought of me and more than willing to oblige when she asked if I would scout around New York to pick up some date honey for Rosh Hashanah, which I am spending with their family. Unfortunately, it turns out date honey is hard to find. I tried the co-op – lots of raw, fair trade honey, but the closest thing to date honey was a fancy jar of fig jam tied with twine. I popped into the fancy cheese shop near my apartment – no luck. I even tried the mother of all supermarkets, Fairway, whose aisles are crammed with jar after jar of exotic honey, preserves, and maple syrup….but no date honey. The floor manager told me they used to carry it, but had discontinued it several years ago.
Still, I was determined to produce some date honey for this important family gathering. So, after another trip to the co-op where I picked up some plump Medjool dates, and a few test rounds in my kitchen, I made my own date honey, darn-it! Turns out, it’s much easier to make than to find.
By the way, there is an interesting story in the Jerusalem Post last week, about archaeologists discovery of the oldest known apiary (bee hive colony) in the Beit She’an Valley. The discovery of these hives, which date back to the 10th and 9th century BCE, suggest that perhaps honey wasn’t the exclusive sweetener of the holy land. Even so, I enjoyed the journey and the opportunity to try something new (and also ancient) for Rosh Hashanah.
Date Honey
Yield: about 1 cup of gooey, fragrant date honey
•8 dates – make sure you buy the fat, sticky Medjool dates (The smaller, harder Delget dates won’t work)
•Juice of 1⁄2 a lemon, remove the seeds
•1⁄2 cup water
•4 pieces crystallized ginger, finely chopped
•1⁄4 cup Agave syrup (don’t worry, this is easy to find at Whole Foods or health food stores)
Remove the pit from the dates and quarter them. Mash the dates with a fork into a paste-like consistency. Add the date mash to a small sauce pan. Add the lemon juice and ¼ cup of water and heat over a low flame, stirring frequently with a whisk or wooden spoon (about 3 minutes). After the water is absorbed, add the remaining water, agave syrup and crystallized ginger. The mash should take on a slightly more liquid quality, like apple butter. Continue stirring, adding small amounts of additional water and Agave syrup as necessary until you reach the taste and consistency you like.
Let cool and serve with slices of Ginger Gold, Honey Crisp apples (or any apple you like).
–Leah Koenig
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September 10, 2007 by Mel Weiss
Facing the Legacies of Power
What a week for confusing politics and conflicting ideas! Wednesday night, I had the extreme pleasure of seeing Ruth Wisse’s Jews and Power being released. I know I’ve written about it before, but now is the time to pick this book up and give it a read, because it falls into that small and precious category of readings that, even if you hate them, will make you smarter. The book delves into perhaps the most pressing issue regarding the psychology of modern Jewry: how much power is “right”? It’s an honest accounting of how political systems work, and it essentially repeats the Zionist idea that Jews can be a nation like other nations—and provides ample evidence that the insistence that Jews supercede even their own strict moral codes evolved during history into something dangerously pathological. It’s not the easiest theory to swallow coming from a liberal political perspective, but it’s compellingly argued. This is, of course, a most simplistic rendering of her arguments, so go read the book yourself.
Thursday night, however, was something of an antidote: the Jewcy protest at the 92nd street Y.
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September 7, 2007 by admin
Torah Written by Women for…Everyone
These are some extremely exciting times for women who care about the Torah. First it was announced that “The Torah: A Women’s Commentary” — the first comprehensive commentary on the Torah written completely by women — will be published this December, a significant accomplishment fifteen years in the making. For most of us, that would have been enough — Dayenu! — but not for Jen Taylor Friedman, a female scribe who has just — drumroll, please — completed the first known Torah scroll written by a woman! Commissioned by the United Hebrew Congregation in St. Louis — “the first congregation west of the Mississippi” — the Torah has been in the works since June 2006, as part of the synagogue’s Torah Alive! project.
In a press release about the event, Taylor, who is only 27 — which I imagine to be a rather young age for any scribe of a Torah scroll — is quick to focus on the mitzvah-oriented nature of her accomplishment, rather than its feminist implications:
“The Torah is at the root of what shapes my days. The laws I live by are derived from the words in this scroll. Having written every one of them, I have a closer relationship with what’s at the heart of my Judaism,” says Taylor Friedman.
“For any scribe, finishing your first Torah is something like getting your Ph.D. It’s something you’ve worked a long time for, and worked very hard on. From a personal Jewish perspective, it is a mitzvah for every Jew to write a Torah scroll of his or her own.”
[…]
“I wrote a Torah because I wanted to write a Torah, not because I wanted to make a big feminist statement,” Taylor Friedman says. “The first-woman aspect is an enjoyable component instead of the central achievement.”
The downplay of the feminist statement is underscored by the fact that the Torah was commissioned by an already-egalitarian Reform congregation, and would almost certainly not be considered “kosher” for use by Orthodox standards. Thus it really is a great and significant accomplishment by a woman, but not necessarily a huge step for the Jewish feminist cause. Friedman has proven that a woman can physically write a Torah — which should never have been doubted in the first place, but surely was by some of the more backward-thinking members of the wider Jewish community — but she has not succeeded in getting the writing of a Torah by a woman sanctioned by those who have, and still do, disapprove of it. However, all in good time.
Friedman does at least have the approval of Orthodox feminists. She (and her Torah?) will participate in a discussion about women and the Torah this Sunday at the Drisha Institute, “the world’s first center for women’s advanced study of classical Jewish texts,” in Manhattan. The Torah scroll will officially be installed in the United Hebrew Congregation on October 3rd, Simchat Torah, and will be replacing a worn, 200-year-old scroll.
If you need some inspiration this High Holiday season, think about that.
–Rebecca Honig Friedman
UPDATE:
From Jen Taylor Friedman herself, a correction about the success of acceptance of female-scripted Torah scrolls (namely, for the moment, hers) in the Modern Orthodox community:
“I have, actually. I wrote an extensive halakhic article justifying women writing Torah, and it’s to be published in the next issue of the Edah journal as-was, now Meorot. That constitutes getting the idea accepted (or sanctioned, if you like) as a legitimate halakhic position by the Modern Orthodox mouthpiece, and it’s pretty wow, in my opinion. As you imply, a good deal more wow than just writing a Torah. Much less iconic, but much more significant.”
- 7 Comments
September 6, 2007 by admin
Kitchen Tshuvah
Rosh Hashanah always sneaks up on me. Every year I tell myself that I’m going to engage in serious self-preparation for the holiday – take time granted me (the month of Elul) to reflect on my spiritual self, write lists of goals for the coming year, and engage in a sincere process of apology and forgiveness with my friends, family, and God. Nearly every year, I find myself in synagogue on Erev Rosh Hashanah, feeling slightly bewildered and attempting a crash course in tshuvah.
I think one of the main problems – aside from being busy – is that self reflection isn’t easy stuff. It’s emotional and complicated – and hopeful too, but one often has to go through a lot of processing before reaching that point. More than that, the thought of turning inward and repenting for everything all at once can seem so overwhelming.
So this year, I’ve decided to focus my tshuvah on one place – my kitchen. The word tshuvah is often translated as “repentance,” but it can also be thought of as returning to one’s best self. For me – and many other women (and men) – the kitchen and all it symbolizes is a gateway to many other parts of life (family, eating and overeating/under-eating, connection to the land, caring for others, care of myself, building community etc.)
In practice I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways I can “return to my best self” when it comes to food. I’ve been thinking about the places where I do not live up to my own desire to eat healthily and sustainably – the times when I choose to buy a slice of pizza because I forgot to pack a lunch the night before – the times I didn’t invite friends over for dinner, or purchased non-local produce from the supermarket because the farmers’ market was a longer bike ride away. I made dates with friends to start a weekly, rotational dinner co-op after the chagim (High Holidays) – not for Shabbat, just a time when one person commits to cook dinner for everyone else and we get together and enjoy each other’s company. It seems so simple – but enjoying the blessing of sharing meals with others is one of the things lacking most in my life.
On a very practical level, I finally purchased glass containers for all those spices and grains I buy in bulk and leave heaped in plastic bag piles in my cupboards. I also cleaned out my refrigerator, and acquired a few new cookbooks to inspire me in the coming year.
I still have a long way to go before the season of tshuvah is over, but I can’t help but feel that if I have my “kitchen” (broadly defined) in order, that the rest of me will be at least slightly more centered, grounded, and ready for the New Year.
- 5 Comments
September 4, 2007 by admin
Remembering Grace Paley
Grace Paley, author, activist, extraordinary teacher, died of breast cancer August 22 at the age of 84. She was a remarkable woman, and we interrupt your regularly-scheduled post to bring you a place where you can share your memories of Grace Paley, z'”l, by leaving your thoughts below.
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September 3, 2007 by Mel Weiss
The G-Word, Among Many
There’s been a lot going on in politics this last week, at least
scandal-wise. There’s already been an almost obscene amount of airtime
and column space devoted to the gentleman from Idaho’s exploits in
cruisin’, and since I’ve had my lit-student hat on more recently, I want
to talk about literature and politics and the Jewish community, right now.
I love learning about the connection between literature and
sociological/economic/political periods, and it’s what originally drew me
to Jewish literature and Jewish academia in the first place.
I read an excellent Jewschool post on Cynthia Ozick’s recent response to reviews
of Tova Reich’s novel Our Holocaust in The Jewish Week. Since the
review will be pretty useless unless you’ve heard of the book (which is
certainly an excellent read, and worth your time even if it infuriates
you), a quick recap: Reich uses Our Holocaust to skewer “the
victim-commemoration industry,” and it gets pretty intense. And whether
you think it’s brilliant satire or petulant cruelty, the fact remains that
it is, in fact, demonstrative of the kind of tension that exists regarding
Holocaust memorialization, both culturally and politically.
Whether it’s the struggle to define a Jewish identity and to fight
assimilation or the very real role the ADL plays in determining whether or
not the U.S. Congress recognizes the Armenian genocide, the Holocaust and
“the g-word,” as Abe Foxman puts it, are disputed territory right now.
(The Forward has taken a look at the ADL’s role in all this.) One of the main arguments for the ADL’s continued stance that it would be bad for Congress to recognize the Armenian genocide is that it would upset Turkey, an important ally for the U.S., and an even more important one for Israel. This argument may well prove correct, but then again, if Kurdistan cedes from Iraq—something analysts deem possible—Turkey’s going to invade and declare war with us, so our caution on this may be worthless. Also, it’s mildly morally reprehensible.
This is something that will have very real consequences in our world,
but who are the two making the most noise—or at least the noise that gets
a lot of coverage—over this issue? A novelist and a literary critic.
Both women. I can’t verify that there’s something to that fact, but I
think there’s a definite legacy—both distinctly Jewish and distinctly
feminist—at work. Because we still see a media imbalance
that penalizes women (and the Jewish press is not necessarily excluded),
women who want their voices heard have learned to speak out as loudly as
they can, exercising to their full advantage their blasting wit (Reich)
and the sheer force of their intellect (Ozick). And tapping into a richly
literate and socially attuned stream of Jewish culture helped them do it
in the realm of literature.
I’ll be keeping my ear to the ground for any further updates on this
particular issue, but mostly I’ve been enjoying yet another example that, in
our day as in days past, the best place a Jewish feminist can go for her
political fix is sometimes the arts section.
–Mel Weiss
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September 3, 2007 by admin
A Matriarch's Tomb Is a Great Spot For a Bat Mitzva
The hot new bat mitzva spot is at a grave sight, the supposed grave sight of the Biblical matriarch Rachel, to be exact. Or so the builders of the new World Bat Mitzva Center, adjacent to Rachel’s Tomb, wish it to be:
“Organizers hope the new center will help Rachel’s Tomb acquire the same allure for girls coming of age as the Western Wall holds for boys,” the JPost reports. The center’s owner, Chaim Silberstein, said, “We would like to make our building at Rachel’s Tomb the ultimate venue for a young Jewish woman” and that he hoped it “would answer a very important need in the Jewish world.”
But the need he is addressing is not the lack of an ultimate bat mitzva venue, which, let’s face it, is not something the world actually needs (as if the kotel was just a place boys go to celebrate their bar mitzvas rather than the ultimate destination for everyone who visits Israel).
Not just a Hallmark-ian attempt to commercialize and “brand” a holy site, the World Bat Mitzva Center was established as a political maneuver, to lay definitive Jewish claim to Rachel’s Tomb, which finds itself technically under Israeli control but in the middle of Palestinian territory, “surrounded by concrete barriers and watchtowers.” The tomb is so heavily guarded that the first girl scheduled to hold her bat mitzva at the center, the granddaughter of one of the center’s major donors, was not allowed to do so. The military guards stopped the busload of passengers and would not let them enter the center, allowing them instead to move the food into a dark hallway in the tomb itself.
While dragging holy sites into the political fray is to be expected — holy sites are what the political fray in Israel is about, after all — dragging twelve year old girls into the mix seems a bit
inappropriate. And defining a specific place as the place for young women to celebrate, and a specific Biblical figure as
And yet, it’s a nice idea for girls to feel like they have their own place in Israel, to not have to fend off the crowds at the kotel, and to be able to celebrate in a meaningful way. At the very least I wish they’d come up with a less obvious name than the World Bat Mitzva Center.
The mother of the disappointed bat mitzva girl said she wants her daughter to get married there one day — perhaps by then they’ll have changed the name to the World Jewish Wedding Center.
–Rebecca Honig Friedman
- 3 Comments
August 29, 2007 by admin
From the Fields to Farm Aid: Where Are the Ladies?
This year, Farm Aid – that politically-charged, superstar-packed concert and festival that benefits rural farmers – is coming to…New York City. (Don’t laugh! Aside from the Queen County Farm Museum, we may not have many rural acres left in the five boroughs – but appreciation for homegrown food abounds through the city’s many farmers’ markets and CSA communities).
The concert itself is scheduled for September 9th, when I’ll be en route home from a friend’s wedding in Maryland. Regardless, I recently pored over the lineup posted online, glass of wine in hand to drown my sorrows over missing all the fun. I saw the obvious old-timers: Willie Nelson, Neil Young, and The Allman Brothers, as well newer bands like Dave Matthews, Guster, and even Matisyahu (Chassidic, reggae, farmboy superstar?).
As I scanned the list, however, I couldn’t help but notice that it was sorely lacking female representation. Where was Allison Krause and Dar Williams? How about Gillian Welch, Aretha Franklin, or Ani DiFranco? I think this is an unfortunate oversight, and one that mimics a phenomenon in the agricultural world.
The National Radio Project writes:
Though women farmers in the United States make up a large percent of food producers, growing vegetables and raising sheep and goats just as men do, they’re often not counted. The U.S. Department of Agriculture only counts deed-holders, and since men hold the majority of deeds in this country, the women who operate farms alongside them are overlooked. (However, I’ve been informed that Lilith has been covering Jewish female farmers for a while…)
More recently, however, women farmers have been gaining public attention for their work. The New York Times and The Economist both published articles in the last few years about women in the field, and in the Jewish farming world, the Adamah eco-farming fellowship is dominated by young aspiring female farmers almost every season. Farm Aid’s organizers missed a great opportunity this year by failing to include strong women musicians in their lineup who could celebrate the emergence of the women farmers across the country.
–Leah Koenig
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